


"Ha'su"

by captinkirc



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mostly Smut, Some Plot, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:11:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captinkirc/pseuds/captinkirc
Summary: Spock sacrifices himself for the away team and Jim is distraught, more so than he would like to admit. How would he tell his First Officer how he feels? Spock gathers the courage for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> "Ha’su": Angel
> 
> "Ashau nash-veh du": I love you
> 
> "Ha": Yes
> 
> "T’nash-veh": my 
> 
> "Taluhk nash-veh k’dular": I cherish thee

“Don’t you dare pull something like that _ever_ again!” Jim bellowed, storming into the transporter room as Bones helped a weak, bleeding Spock from a transporter pad. Jim was shaking with rage and adrenaline, but despite it, he draped Spock’s other arm over his shoulder to help him down to sickbay.

“It was the only logical-” Spock coughed, a pained, choked sound escaping him, “the only logical course of action. I was the strongest and most likely to succeed of the crew.”

“So you tried to fight two wild sehlats with your bare hands? Yeah, how logical,” Jim rolled his eyes, trying not to notice the green blood oozing from Spock’s side, turning his torn tunic a sickening black, “what’d you do, try to nerve pinch them?” Spock didn't seem to have the will, or energy, to answer. He was beginning to pale, tripping over his own feet. Crew members stood aside, obviously startled at the sight of the bloody trio as they stumbled through the corridors.

Bones herded the the pair into Sickbay, letting Jim lead the weak Vulcan to a biobed. A few nurses swarmed to his bedside and in a whirl of blue, Jim found himself being ushered out of the room by Nurse Chapel. She gave him a sympathetic look before scurrying back inside. Still trembling, Jim collapsed against the bulkhead and slowly slid to the floor, letting his legs unfold in front of him. He was overreacting and Jim knew it, but looking down at his blood stained palms made him shudder and go cold.

Jim waited outside the doorway for what felt like hours, soon his eyelids began to feel heavy and he nodded off. Numerous crew members eyed him as they passed, confused and somewhat amused to see their Captain snoring against the wall. Stranger things had happened aboard a starship, especially on the Enterprise.

———

The doors whooshed open and Bones stepped out, breathing a heavy sigh of relief, his tunic and gloves soaked with green blood. He looked down at his sleeping friend and reached down to grasp Jim’s shoulder gently. Jim woke with a start.

“Bones!” Jim rasped out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he scrambled to his feet, “How is he? Is everything okay?” Bones chuckled, following Jim back into Sickbay as the Captain made a bee-line for Spock.

“Yeah, the worst is gone, he’ll be a bit tender here and there though. Although he’ll probably never tell you that,” Bones was peeling off his gloves as Chapel ran her tricorder over Spock one more time, “he'll be off doing his meditation voodoo and be fit as a fiddle by morning.”

“I assure you, meditation is not ‘voodoo’, Doctor.” Spock sat up and swung his legs over the side of the biobed; Jim grasped his arm to help him stand. Jim trailed his fingers softly down Spock’s arm as he let go, earning an eye-roll from Bones. Jim blushed.

“Now Spock, you’re off duty for the next twenty-four hours since you have a habit of over-exerting yourself,” Spock raised an eyebrow at that, but Bones ignored it, “Like I said, you’re going to be sore and it’ll be painful, but that’s what you get for fighting wild animals in your spare time.”

“If you insist.” Bones huffed, trying to mask a smile as he escaped to his office.

“I’ll have hyposprays ready if you need them.” The door to Bones’ office swished shut before Spock had the chance to protest. Spock turned to look over as Jim excused himself quietly, straightening his tunic as he made a bee-line for the doors.

———

By the time Jim gathered the courage to go see Spock the ship was quiet and the hallways were empty. Jim wasn’t even sure that Spock would still be awake at this hour, but he steeled himself and straightened his tunic as the door swished open.

“Spock..?” He stepped inside, looking around the dimly lit room. His eyes fell on the Vulcan perched on his meditation stool in the corner, bathed in orange glow from the incense pot beside him. Jim’s breath caught in his throat. Spock’s eyes opened slowly and he looked up at Jim as he unfolded his legs from under him. In the low light Spock looked like pure sex in the flesh; his light skin glowing and heavy muscle pronounced in the shadows.

“Captain, do you require my assistance?” Jim blinked owlishly, mouth working but unable to speak. Spock raised an eyebrow at him and gracefully rose to his feet, his long black robe swishing against his ankles. Jim felt his mouth go dry at the sight.

“Jim?” Spock was suddenly in front of him and staring down at Jim. From the angle, Jim had a perfect view of the Vulcan’s strong chest and the black hair that dusted it; he stuttered, backing up a few steps. He mentally scolded himself, _‘I’m a captain of a starship, not some lovesick damsel! Get it together!’_ Spock followed his step, reaching a hand out to grasp his arm.

“Are you alright Jim?”

“Y-yeah, I am. I just -um- wanted to check on you, see how you were holding up.”

“I am adequate. Thank you.”

“Ye-yeah, I’ll let you get back to meditating then,” Jim turned towards the door, but only made it a few steps before Spock had grabbed his wrist. Jim’s eyes went wide as Spock gently brought him back to face him.

“Something is troubling you.” Jim stuttered at the accusation, trying to pull his wrist free, “Jim, you must remember that I am a touch telepath. I can sense your distress.” Spock was once again staring down at Jim, and he had no choice but to stare back.

“It’s no biggie, Spock,” Jim tried to collect himself and hopefully regain his usual swagger but it was no use. Spock’s big brown eyes bore into his, expectant and insistent, and he couldn't resist.

“I was just worried about you.” Spock’s eyes softened and he released Jim’s wrist, “don’t want to have to find a new First Officer, you know.”

“I believe that Lieutenant Sulu would be a honorable choice-”

“Hah hah, very funny,” Jim interrupted, rolling his eyes. The corner of Spock’s mouth twitched upward, and Jim stuttered again. It could barely classify as a smile, but every time it made Jim’s brain melt into a puddle of goo. He looked down to avoid his eyes. However, there was no such thing as ‘getting off easy’ with Spock, and the man was onto him.

“You are still hiding from me, Jim. I have come to the conclusion that you have been doing so for 243.334 days. For the command team to be successful on board this ship, it is vital that we trust one another.” Carefully, Spock took another step forward, effectively invading Jim’s space and somehow cornering him against the wall. Jim looked up at him, thumping his head against the wall.

“Spock? Wh-what is this?” Jim’s heart was pounding against his ribs, eyes once again drawn to the Vulcan’s strong, broad chest and shoulders, up his collarbones, his throat, his mouth…Jim sagged against the wall, his cheeks burning.

“You have been watching me for the past month,” Jim sputtered in defiance, but Spock continued, “Your gazes have begun to linger for 3.2 seconds longer than usual and you have purposefully skipped prior engagements to join me for chess and dinner every night.”   
“What are you trying to say?”

“If you bear an attraction to me Jim, it would be logical to tell me.” Jim stared up at him, wide eyed. His skin felt cold and tight despite his burning cheeks; there was no line of escape.

“So what if I do? You planning on leaving the ship now? I don’t blame you,” he mumbled, looking at his feet, “I’m just an illogical human-” Spock grasped Jim’s shoulders, pushing him back against the wall.

“Jim, while I was planetside and fighting the sehlats, I could not stop myself from feeling fear. I feared that I would not see you again. That I would no longer be by your side, and no longer hear your laughter. I feared for my life because I did not wish to leave you behind without telling you how I care for you.” Spock's heart was pounding despite the calm demeanor.  

Jim could feel his eyes welling up with tears as Spock stared down at him, his eyes wide and vulnerable as they looked into his own. He choked off a sob, leaning forward to press is face against Spock’s warm chest. Spock's hands rested against his back and one reached up to tangle through his hair.

“I have you.”

“I was so scared, Spock. When Bones called I panicked, I felt so helpless and stupid for never telling you how I felt, that you’d never know and I know I could never love anyone like I love you, oh God,” Jim dug his fingers into the fabric of his robe, “You’re so beautiful and graceful and good and I don't deserve to-”

“Jim, be silent,” Spock cut his rambling off, “You are my sun and stars. Taluhk nash-veh k’dular.” Spock cradled Jim’s face in his palms, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. Jim’s heart pounded, stressed tears streaming down his cheeks. Spock kissed his temple and wet cheekbone before tenderly kissing his lips, cradling the back of his head like a prized possession.

Jim leaned into him, hands gripping the silky fabric of Spock’s robe tight and clutching to him; he prayed to God that this wasn't some twisted dream that would soon be ripped away from him. He made a noise of distress against Spock’s mouth, trembling in his arms as Spock wrapped around him and pulled him close against his chest.

Spock pulled away to breathe, huffing against Jim’s hair as he tucked his head into the crook of Spock’s shoulder. Jim was breathing heavily and still shaking as the adrenaline left his system, leaving him to sag against Spock as the Vulcan leaned down to claim his lips again. Jim’s fingers came up to trace over Spock’s cheekbone, his pointed eyebrow, the shell of his ear - Spock gasped and pulled back as if he had been burned. Jim whimpered.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry _don’t go_ , I won’t-” Spock crowded back into Jim’s space, squeezing him desperately against him and that was when Jim felt it, hard and hot against his hip. His knees buckled and he mentally scolded himself for it. ' _The infamous Captain James T. Kirk, seduced and reduced to a pile of mush with a few simple touches.'_

Spock’s lips traveled, mouthing along the line of Jim’s jaw, sucking and biting softly down his neck; Spock’s clever fingers had reached the zipper of his uniform, tugging it down to reveal the back of his neck to his adventurous hands. Jim surged forward to kiss desperately at Spock’s face till their lips met again.

“Oh, Jim, how I have shamefully desired you. I could never resist you…” Spock admitted against Jim’s lips as his sneaky hands slid under his golden uniform and up the small of his back. Jim shivered at the gentle caress, his own hands reaching out to tug at the Vulcan robe to expose Spock’s chest. His fingers slid through the dark hair, over hard muscle and Jim moaned softly. Finally, the object of his unwavering desires willingly under his hands; Jim could hardly believe it. Spock let his robe fall open, hanging erotically over Spock’s broad shoulders and down his lean frame. Jim gasped.

“T’hy'la, I need you. If you will have me…” Spock trailed off as Jim’s eyes hungrily traveled down his body. His cheeks were green, lips already swollen as well; Jim had never seen a more dangerously enticing picture before in his life. Jim’s heart pounded at the sight of Spock’s cock hanging between his thighs, aching and hard and everything that Jim had imagined. His mouth was dry so he simply nodded, staring up into Spock’s burning eyes.

Seconds later, Jim was crowded against the wall again, a knee pressing between his thighs and hands digging insistently against his hips. Spock was beginning to grow desperate, tugging Jim’s tunic over his shoulders as quickly as he could and physically ripping his undershirt off his back. Any other moment, Jim would have had the strength to be angry, but the pure demonstration of strength and prowess made Jim twitch in his underwear. Now, Jim was pressed against the Vulcan’s hot bare chest, feeling the wiry hair tickle his skin.

“Spock, oh god,” Spock’s hands slipped down the back of Jim’s trousers and kneaded at his ass, gripping him with his strong, sure fingers. Jim moaned against the Vulcan’s throat as a finger ghosted over his hole and pressed softly against it. Spock purred into his hair, encouraging Jim to rock forward against his leg. He did, whimpering against the Vulcan’s hot mouth as he unbuckled Jim’s trousers to push them down his thick thighs.

“Please, darling!” Spock spun Jim to face the wall and pulled his pants and underwear hastily down his legs, tossing them across the room. Jim should have been ashamed at how easily Spock had bent him to his will; he braced himself against the wall and pushed his ass back toward him in a shameless display. Spock growled audibly, gluing himself to Jim’s back and biting at the soft round shell of his ear.

“You will be mine, Jim, in mind and body. I will not share you, and you will not think of another again. You will be mine and I will be yours.” Spock whispered hotly against his ear and Jim’s skin heated up at the intensity of emotion in Spock’s voice. Jim felt overwhelmed, gripping at Spock’s arms as they wrapped around his waist.

“I’m yours always Spock, I’ve always been yours, I love you! I love-” Spock claimed Jim’s mouth again, thrusting his now hard cock against his ass and slicking pre come over his skin. Jim gasped, fingers clutching against the wall; He was aroused and leaking, small noises coming from his mouth. A whimper escaped as his knees were knocked apart, strong hands wrenching them open. He couldn't resist as Spock wrapped those hands around his perfectly sculpted thighs and lifted Jim into the air with ease; Jim wrapped his legs around the Vulcan’s hips and let himself be carted off into the bedroom.

The anticipation was driving Spock mad. He stopped, pressing Jim into the wall and claiming his mouth, all tongue and panting as Jim rubbed his cock against Spock’s belly. A shiver ran through Spock at the waves of ecstasy sweeping over him from Jim and he finally managed to make the last few steps to the bed and pressed the man beneath him into the mattress. Jim’s legs fell open easily, letting Spock’s hips rest between them and trapping their cocks between their stomachs.

“Angel, I can’t wait any longer…” Jim’s cradled Spock’s head as the Vulcan leaned down to suck a dark mark against his jaw, “I need you.” His voice cracked. Spock’s hands where everywhere; they roamed down his smooth chest, down his stomach and hips and Jim arched up into his hands, stretching his torso out enticingly. Spock growled softly.

“Turn over.” Jim rushed to obey, spreading his thighs wide and arching into the bed for the fleeting friction along his cock. He was absolutely aching, and he was damn sure going to make Spock feel it too. Jim looked over his shoulder and presented himself, blue eyes burning. Spock had sat back on his haunches, his robe puddling around him and his hard cock jutting out from between his thighs. Jim shivered. Spock’s hands slid up Jim’s legs and thighs leaving goosebumps in their wake; heat coiled in Jim’s belly. Roughly, the Vulcan squeezed an ass cheek, and Jim yelped in indignation. He smoothed the sting by leaning down and kissing and kneading along the round curve.

Whatever Jim had expected, this was not it. Spock spread Jim’s cheeks apart and dove between them, his oddly textured tongue swiping over his hole and licking him greedily. Jim moaned into the quiet room, fingers digging into the bedsheets as Spock held him down to suck, lick, and bite at his hole like a starved man. Idly, Jim wondered if all Vulcans where this kinky or if it was just Spock. As if on cue Spock’s tongue dipped inside him and Jim cried out; he pressed his hips back into the intrusion, drool leaking from the corner of his lips. No one had ever eaten him out so enthusiastically or expertly before. Jim melted.

Too soon, Spock pulled away to trail kisses up Jim’s back till he was biting the back of his neck and thrusting his cock against Jim’s ass. Shifting, Spock reached into his bedside drawer and Jim shivered when his eyes fell on the small bottle Spock pulled out. _'Finally, dear god_. _'_ Jim insistently pushed his hips back again as Spock uncapped the bottle.

“Patience is a virtue, Ashayam.”

“I’ve never been known for my virtue, angel. I’ve waited for months.” Spock huffed, and though Spock would deny it, Jim would call it a laugh.

“Then a few more minutes will be insignificant.”

“Why you little-!” Jim’s mouth fell open in a silent moan as one of Spock’s slicked fingers slid into his hole, twisting and stretching him open carefully. Jim wanted to tease but he could tell that Spock was just as desperate as he was: Spock’s hands shook, and his face pressed into Jim’s hair as he fingered Jim open. Perhaps it was just the finger sensitivity Spock had mentioned, but it stroked Jim’s ego regardless. Jim writhed and cried into the bedspread, cheeks blooming pink as Spock crooked his finger just far enough to stroke his sweet spot. A few more strokes, and there were two slick fingers spreading him, and Jim arched his hips up in encouragement.

“Look at me, Jim.” Spock’s voice was strained, almost desperate, so Jim turned his head to look over his shoulder at him. Spock’s eyes were dark and his mouth had fallen open slightly, chin and lips still wet with spit from eating Jim out. He shivered, squeezing his eyes shut at Spock’s fingers pressed harder against his prostate. Jim keened as Spock draped over his back to capture his mouth and kiss him sloppily, a third finger sliding in alongside the rest. Jim reached back blindly to stroke the point of Spock’s ear; Spock jolted and made a sound as if he had been punched in the gut and ducked down to bite Jim’s shoulder.

“Fuck me, Spock,” Jim whined, “c'mon, I’m ready baby.” Spock shuddered, leaning back to grab a condom until Jim stopped him. He shook his head.

“I wanna feel you. I’m clean.” Jim tugged the condom from Spock’s fingers and tossed it aside, and Spock moaned, reaching down to grasp his throbbing cock at its base. Jim’s blue eyes twinkled mischievously when Spock slid his slick hand over his length quickly, head tilted back as he relished the fleeting friction. Spock teased the head of his cock against Jim’s hole, sliding across the slippery mess until he finally pushed in just when Jim was about to snap at him again.

Jim’s mouth fell open as inch by inch sank into him, stretching and stuffing him perfectly. Spock was panting above him, hands in a death grip around Jim’s hips to keep him from moving. He felt hot, his skin tight and burning where Spock touched him. Spock rolled his hips carefully and a deep moan escaped him; Jim swallowed it. His hand rushed up to clutch the back of Spock’s head and dragged him down for a sloppy kiss.

“Fuck-," Jim cursed as Spock drew his hips back, letting them snap forward again so he could determine the pace. He growled, manhandling Jim till he was on his back, thighs bent back to his sides and exposed to the room’s warm air. Jim was fleetingly grateful for Bones forcing Jim to do yoga with him.

Spock’s hips snapped in sharp, fast jabs, chasing Jim’s hot heat. Jim cried out, hands clutching to the back of Spock’s neck, head ducking in to his shoulder. Spock’s mouth was at his ear suddenly as rasped out.

“You are mine, you were made for me and no one else,” Jim whimpered, “T'nash-veh ha’su, Jim.”

“So _big_ ,” Jim whimpered, fingers curling into a fists on Spock’s shoulders. “ _N-nnggnh_ ,” Spock’s cock twitched deep inside him and Jim shook with it. Spock’s arms wrapped around Jim’s waist and back to hold him in place as he fucked him fast; the feedback loops of emotion from Jim’s skin drowned Spock in pleasure and love and satisfaction so heavy that Spock thought he might break.

He pressed balls deep against Jim’s perfect ass, Jim’s legs wrapped around Spock’s hips and held on. Spock stayed there, felt him clench and listened to Jim keen, watched as he bit hard on his reddened lip and tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. Spock was slightly mesmerized at how the water turned Jim’s eyes a shocking cerulean color.

“D-don't stop,” Jim pleaded as Spock kissed his slack mouth. He hummed softy, running his tongue across the seam of Jim’s lips and smoothed a large, warm hand along his side, sliding up his ribs before he rocked into him. The pace slowed down and Spock was thrusting deeply into Jim and hitting all of his sweet spots; Jim moaned and drool leaked from the corner of his mouth when Spock ducked his head to suck and bite at the crook of his neck. _'You should be ashamed of yourself, begging like a dog!'_ Jim scolded himself.

He was growling, groaning and whispering in Vulcan into Jim’s skin, powerful hands gripping Jim’s waist and dragging his slack body up against him. Jim’s eyes fluttered and his fingers dug into Spock’s hair as the Vulcan bit into his skin; the feeling of being truly taken and claimed made him shiver under Spock’s hands. Jim clutched to him like a lifeline as Spock changed his pace suddenly, jackhammering into him and he nearly wept from how good it felt.

“Jim,” Spock groaned, “Taluhk nash-veh k’dular. Ha, ha, _ashau nash-veh du!_ ” Jim wailed, though his voice was hoarse and reached his hands above his head and clutched to the mattress. Spock’s pace became sloppy, fucking into his over-sensitive hole and rumbling praises into his ear; Jim could feel the heat in his belly coiling up tight, and he gasped out.

“I-I'm gonna come, _please_ Spock-” Jim was surprised with himself, he’d barely had any attention to his cock but Spock’s fleeting touches and Spock seemed to proud of that. The Vulcan’s hips didn’t stop as he leaned back, even picking up speed as his hands pushed Jim’s thighs apart and into the bed as he railed into him. With shaking fingers, he reached down to wrap his hand around his cock.

“ _Jim, yes_ ,” Spock’s fingers dug into Jim’s thick thighs, “I have you-”

Before Spock could finish, Jim’s mouth fell open and he wailed, body arched up hard into Spock’s chest as he came between their stomachs. Spock fucked him through it, struggling to keep his self-control as Jim clenched around him; he melted at the pure adoration in Jim’s eyes when he looked up at him. Jim was slack in Spock’s arms now and twitched and trembled as Spock rocked into him.

“Wanna feel you come, angel,” Jim cooed sleepily, running his fingers through Spock’s hair and along his ears; Spock smothered a loud moan that threatened to escape him and he leaned back to stare down at Jim. He was impossibly gorgeous. His blonde locks were now a mess, sweat slicked his tanned and smooth skin and in the low light, Jim seemed to glow and sparkle. Spock felt the telltale clenching start at the base of his cock and a thrill rushed through him. Spock brought his fingers to Jim’s face and watched for his approval. Below him Jim smiled and nodded, running his hands up Spock’s broad chest and tangling in the hair there.

“My mind to your mind... my thoughts to your thoughts…” He cried out from the onslaught of Jim’s thoughts; they filled Spock with pleasure, joy, love and relief to the point that Spock might burst. He trembled and bore down on Jim as he wiggled and gasped beneath him.

Jim whimpered, feeling the cock inside him twitch and the burst of come filled him with warmth. Jim felt _so full_ and satisfied, like he would be dripping out at the slightest movement and he loved it. He giggled at the thought.

Spock stilled, pressing his hips tight and keeping himself buried inside him. His chest heaved as he leaned down to kiss Jim in the afterglow; Jim wrapped his arms around his neck and curled his fingers through his hair soothingly as Spock shook through his orgasm.

“Beautiful,” Spock murmured. His chest felt hot, as if a fire had been lit in his ribcage and was now fighting to burn out of him. Tucking his arms under Jim’s back, Spock kissed along his throat and Jim made the sweetest, most loving sound Spock had ever heard as he pulled out. Spock rolled onto his back and pulled Jim’s lax body to rest against his chest, petting at Jim’s hair as he brought a leg up to drape over Spock’s thigh.

Jim could feel Spock’s come leaking out of his hole and his own come drying on his stomach, but he was too tired to care. He tilted his head up and kissed at Spock’s neck sleepily, cooing softly as his Vulcan turned his head to press into his hair.

“Sleep, Jim. Taluhk nash-veh k’dular.” Jim rested his head back against Spock’s chest and let his eyes drift shut, heart finally warm and satisfied. Fleetingly, Jim wondered if he could personally thank the sehlats for bringing him and Spock together and he giggled softly. Spock’s arm tightened around his waist.

“Sleep.” Spock smiled softly, chest rumbling with satisfaction as Jim curled closer to his warmth and drifted to sleep.

 

 


End file.
